Being right

For the second time I react stunned to the result of a blood test, this time the result I got this morning. The weekend had been quite tough. Only yesterday did I feel fit again. The three-week course with Carboplatin, the heavy treatment, had already been postponed several times by a week and I was convinced that it would be the case again this time. That actually appealed to me.

Walking to the hospital I had already thought of the following song (which only rhymes in Dutch):
Let this cure
but take longer.
No need to panic.
Cells will restore.
Count my Blessings:
A week less sick!

However, it turned out that I was wrong and was therefore a bit upset. If my blood cells had been able to talk to me, they might have reacted with dismay at so much ingratitude: “Have we figured out how to work harder on our recovery, and what do we get: a sad face!” Well, they would have been right….

Sometimes I want things that are not so good for my body. Such as wine gums, ice cream, chocolate with lots of salt and caramel and walking in the sun without first looking for that bottle of sunscreen. Or a nice week off in the middle of necessary medical treatments. But this result contained clear language: my body is ready for the next treatment.

Of course I could also have discussed postponement. And I don’t mean with the cells, but with the internist-oncologist, who is always willing to think along with me. But I decided to pull myself together and immediately walked meekly from his consulting room to the nursing ward for the next course of Paclitaxel plus Carboplatin.

While I already feel the first liquid trickling in, I get a text from a dear friend. He immediately responded to my message that the treatment was still going ahead. His enthusiastic conclusion was that this means that I can complete the last series of cures according to plan. And that this also means that we can now plan a nice weekend with our old-timer camper vans. His app invited all the great anticipation that comes with this plan.
I smile and realize: He’s right!

NB: Every now and then I get some questions about the neuropathy I feared so much. Yesterday I was able to play the viola to my heart’s content!! During the treatment that I received from the pain specialist, based on the latest insights, I already felt the tingling in my hands ebbing away and they have not returned. I still feel something in my feet, but those cloudy feelings are not unpleasant.