The alarm goes off at six in the morning. Together with my brother I will walk the regular route to the hospital to have my blood drawn. An hour later, the lab results will be known and we will hear from the internist-oncologist whether the chemo treatment (including Carboplatin) can start immediately afterwards. This time not on the usual Friday, because my love passed away on August 6. I would rather not lie ill from the effects of cancer in the same hospital room that memorable day.

Fortunately, the countdown to the second half of this second chemo therapy now begins. Only two tough weeks and four mild ones to go. Maybe an extra week here and there due to delay. That is manageable and my thoughts and questions are already fully focused on the trajectory afterwards.

A colorful collection of summer hats hangs from my hood. Outside, they elegantly protect and mask my bald head. Despite my multicolored glasses, it is now noticeable that I have lost my eyelashes. Almost also my eyebrows, which a few weeks ago were still so heavy and dark. An unknown person looks at me from the mirror, someone I still have to get to know. I will probably run into this person every now and then until November. I am already curious who I will meet in the mirror next. After all that has already happened and will certainly have happened by then, that person will again be a different looking person. I’m going for ‘wiser’.