Chemo routine

Sleep
Awake, toilet, drink, rub head, watch the clock, it is night
Sleep
Awake, toilet, drink, rub head, watch the clock, Still night. Hello cat. Hello stomach.
Eat biscuit, rinse mouth, don’t worry, distract myself.
Sleep
Awake, toilet, drink, rub head, watch the clock, a little too early. Alright you both get your cat food. Wash hands thoroughly. A rusk for myself, pills, rather lie down again.
Sleep
Awake, backache, on the height of the metastasis. Is it cancer, chemo or just recovery? Pain subsides. Toilet, drink. It is time to rinse eye, cleanse it, eye drops. 
Sleep
Awake, toilet, drink, rub head, I want to do something. Have breakfast, tastes nice. 
Shower? No, rather lie down again. Indefinable feeling in breast. Is it cancer, chemo or just recovery?
Reschedule appointments today after all. Next week I’ll surely feel better. 
Read sweet apps, take a shower at leisure. Is this really me? Better ignore the mirror. So tired, just lie down a little longer.
Sleep
Awake, toilet, drink, rub head, I want to do some work. Small tasks, not too much reading. Answer a few mails, ignore most of them. Rub big toes that have become blue, new band Aid on little toe, on my heels through the house.
Lunch: little pancake full of protein, pills, change bed, read sweet apps. 
Rinse eye, cleanse it, eye drops.
Bell rings. Sweet person at the door. Open door, don’t let person in, too tired. How sweet, thank you very much, bye. Up the stairs, out of breath. Not to bed again? Only for a while.
Sleep 
Awake, toilet, drink, rub head, try again to work a bit. Half an hour. Nauseous, eating something helps. Take it easy. 
Mail!! Read sweet cards. 
Tired, ughh, bed. Pain near breastbone, why? Pain subsides. 
Sleep
Awake. Take my mind off things. TV or music? Too much. Draw up questions for doctor. Google. Read results in hospital portal. Look up medical terms. TV after all. ‘Dream cottage in the country’, quiet pace, beautiful images of Scotland. Advertising too enervating. 
Bell rings. Sweet person of the cooking team. Thank you. Tastes good. 
Try to do something again: into the garden, take my mind off things. Read sweet apps, thank you. Rinse chemo taste out of mouth. Rinse eye, cleanse it, eye drops.
Hold on a little longer, then sleep.

Tomorrow will surely be a better day.