The facts at a glance:

  • Metastases have been discovered in two spaces on the bones
  • Possibly also metastases in the lungs, but that is not quite clear yet
  • In the armpit near the lymph node a small irregularity was found, possibly also cancer
  • The tumour is more than 9 cms large. It is of the fast-growing and aggressive type.
  • We deal with ‘Triple negative’ breast cancer 
  • In the MDO (multidisciplinary consultation) next Tuesday the images will be discussed, especially those of the lungs. The MDO will give advice on the scheme of treatment. 
  • Probably next week already: consultation with the internist oncologist and start of chemotherapy as soon as possible.
  • For the time being treatment will be curative (i.e. focused on recovery) instead of palliative. This approach will also be discussed in the MDO.

The bad news was brought in a warm and professional way. My dear friend and I looked at the list of questions we had drawn up together. We got all time in the world to ask these questions and the answers were honest. A new biopsy was taken, this time in the armpit to get certainty about what is possibly going on there.

The news, the tension of last week and the obligatory mouth mask in the corridors in the hospital started to oppress me.

My dear friend asked me where I wished to go. We drove to the natural cemetery, to the grave where 2,5 years ago my sturdy, dearest beloved was buried.  We ate something in the grass to revive ourselves. The sun was shining and warmed us, the sky was a lovely blue, it was quiet, the birds were singing. We were silent, a tear fell every now and then and we reminisced, recounting funny anecdotes.

The day is over and again my world has changed.During Easter I’ll rest to regain energy and digest the difficult  news.